Unwelcome Feelings
by N1T2B3
Summary: Will Harry and Draco ever come to terms with the feelings they have for each other?
1. First Day Back

**Unwelcome Feelings**

Chapter 1: First Day Back

It was Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and he couldn't be happier to be back. After a summer spent in fear of his life, Harry finally felt safe. Hogwarts was the only place Lord Voldemort, the darkest wizard for many generations, would not show up. The one man Voldemort would not stand up to was the very same man who most looked up to, Professor Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts and, some say, one of the greatest wizards to ever have lived. At the end of Harry's last year, Voldemort returned after 13 years. Harry was there to witness it all and almost died in the process. Cedric Digory wasn't so lucky. When trying to help Harry, Voldemort had unleashed the killing curse upon Cedric, and there was nothing that could be done to save him.

Harry was sat with his two closest friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, in the Great Hall as the Sorting Ceremony of the first years took place. Ron was a tall, skinny boy with bright red hair and freckles, just like the rest of his family. There was no mistaking a Weasley. Hermione was bucktoothed with a brown, mane of hair. She had the potential to be quite pretty, but her homework and extra reading kept her far too busy to groom herself. She was a bookworm and the cleverest in the year. Harry and Ron always counted on Hermione when they needed an answer to a question, no matter how random, or when they were running a little late with their homework. They would never copy, just borrow.

The Sorting Hat went about sorting all the first years into the correct houses but Harry wasn't listening. Someone had caught his eye. Someone Harry loathed. Draco Malfoy. They had been enemies pretty much since the start of first year, but this year, for a reason Harry couldn't explain, it was different. He found himself gazing at Malfoy absent-mindedly from across the room. There was something about Malfoy that Harry couldn't stop looking at. Perhaps it was how much Malfoy had matured over the summer. Perhaps it was the way his pale, ivory skin contrasted with the deep black, green and silver of his Hogwarts cloak.

"Erm... Hi, Harry"

"Oh. Er... Ginny, hi." Harry was awoken from his trance.

Ginny Weasley was a pretty girl. She carried the usual Weasley traits. Red hair and freckles. If she wasn't Ron's little sister, Harry would probably have asked her out on a date already. But as the rule generally goes, siblings are out of bounds.

"I was doing some thinking over the summer," Ginny said, "about what happened last year. It can't be easy for you. So, I wanted you to know that I'm always here to help. With anything. Homework, girl trouble. Even fighting You Know Who."

"Thanks, Ginny. That's really nice of you."

"I know there are loads more people who feel the same aswell"

Harry pictured all his closest friends stood in front of Voldemort, as he picked them off one by one. Even the thought made him feel empty inside.

Before Harry had the chance to reply, Dumbledore's voice echoed throughout the whole room, "Let the feast begin." And by the time Harry had turned back around to face Ginny, she had gone back to her friends from her own year.

As Ron dolloped some mash potato onto his plate, he managed to say between salivating, "What did she have to say?"

"Just that I'm not alone."

Suddenly Hermione piped up. "Harry, after all these years, if you still feel alone you need to take a reality check."

"No, Hermione. I don't feel alone. It's just nice to have it backed up once in a while. Especially after last year."

Hermione turned to her steak and said nothing more on the subject.

Ron was too busy filling his face to even notice he'd spilt his drink onto a second year sat next to him.

And Harry found his mind wandering. If the situation arose, could Harry really fight Voldemort alone. In the back of his mind, he knew he would need all the help he could get, but he didn't want the deaths of his closest friends to be on his shoulders.

Harry glanced at Malfoy over on the Slytherin table. Even while eating, there was something new about Malfoy that Harry couldn't quite put his finger on. Harry bit into a bread roll. He just couldn't keep his eyes off Malfoy. When Malfoy looked up, Harry tried to look as if he was casually looking around the room. It didn't work. Draco had seen. With a smirk that said a thousand words, he tucked into the rest of the delicious feast.


	2. Presence

Chapter 2: Presence

After the great feast of the first day of term, all the students took the familiar routes to their house common rooms. Gryffindor's was on the 7th floor, giving them the furthest to go.

While all the Gryffindor's started their yearly catch-ups, Harry found himself getting lost in conversations with several people. He loved being back at Hogwarts more than words could describe. It was the only place he felt he really belonged and could be himself. Seamus was brought up in the muggle world, like Harry, so they had a lot in common. Harry found he could talk to Seamus about a lot of things. Right at this minute, the topic was football. Harry wasn't a huge fan of football but he wasn't completely reserved to watching it. Seamus however spent most of his Summer doing nothing but watching West Brom games. Harry was trying his best to look interested as Seamus was talking about an "absolute scorcher" of a goal when an owl came through the open window and dropped a letter right on Harry's lap.

He recognised the familiar scrawl immediately. It was Hagrid, the gameskeeper of Hogwarts and good friend of Harry's.

_Fancy popping to the hut for a cup of tea? It's been a while._

_Hagrid_

A smile grew across Harry's face as he realised Hagrid had missed him. His body filled with warmth.

"Sorry, Seamus, I've got to go," Harry interrupted.

"Oh, bye then," came Seamus's reply, feeling put out.

Harry went up to the boys' dormitory to grab his cloak and, just in case, his invisibility cloak. He didn't want to be caught out of bed late after all.

As he strolled down the stairs, Harry's mind was taken by how much Hagrid's friendship actually meant to him. Without Hagrid being so blunt to the Dursley's when he was 11, Harry probably wouldn't even be in Hogwarts right now. How different would his life have been? Just as Harry was starting to contemplate life without magic, he was shocked to be knocked back by a barrier. The feeling of surprise quickly turned into something else as he realised exactly what his barrier was.

It was Draco Malfoy.

Whatever Harry saw in Malfoy in the Great Hall had reappeared, and Harry felt himself blushing, but he couldn't think why.

"Watch where you're going, Potter," Malfoy spat. "Thinking up new ways to get you noticed this year?"

"No, actually," Harry said boldy, though he wasn't feeling so bold. "I was thinking of curses to cast for the next time I ran into you. Lucky for you, I didn't get very far."

"Oh please. A first year Hufflepuff has more chance against me than you."

Harry wasn't listening. He was staring into those sharp, piercing, silver grey eyes. His legs had gone to jelly and he was struggling to think of anything other than Malfoy.

"Potter! Anyone would think you'd been petrified. Why are you staring? Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude?" Malfoy sneered, knowing full well Harry's mother was murdered when he was young.

Harry had a feeling he knew exactly why he was staring at this Slytherin boy, who he should despise, but he didn't want to admit it to himself, let alone Malfoy. So instead he opted for "Leave my mother out of this."

"Or what?" Malfoy took a step forward and closed the gap between the two. Just his presence made the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stand up and there was a twinkle in Malfoy's eyes.

"Oh, you'll see," Harry said coolly. And with that, he pushed Malfoy aside to gain passage. He had to get out of there. Harry couldn't take much more of being that close.

When he thought he was completely clear of Malfoy, he turned to take one last look at the boy who was giving Harry chills, only to find Malfoy doing exactly the same thing. Malfoy suddenly went bright red and, as quickly as he could, turned round and hurried to his destination.

This confused Harry a lot, and the rest of his journey to Hagrid's hut was spent wondering why Malfoy watched him. And why did he look so embarrassed when he was caught? Could he feel what Harry's feeling? Or is that just wishful thinking?

Hagrid's rock cakes pushed these thoughts out of Harry's mind. And he enjoyed the catchup with one of his closest friends.


	3. Sharp, Piercing and Silver

**Chapter Three – Sharp, Piercing and Silver**

The first thing Harry did everyday, after his morning shower, was check his timetable. Today, he noticed, he had Defence Against The Dark Arts. This used to be good news. Until the arrival of Dolores Umbridge. There was an immediate dislike between himself and this sorry excuse for a witch.

As Slytherin joined them on the third floor outside Umbridge's classroom, Harry noticed that Malfoy was avoiding eye contact with him. Ron must have noticed too, because he said,

"Malfoy's up to something. Look how suspicious he looks. Think _he'd _be able to hide it, being a _Malfoy."_

"Yeah," Harry agreed, not particularly listening. He saw that Malfoy wasn't talking or looking at anyone. Just standing with his back to the wall and staring at the ceiling. There was definitely something on his mind.

"Right, in you come," came the high-pitched squeak of Umbridge.

All the students traipsed into the classroom and took their usual seats by friends.

"I wouldn't get too comfy if I were you," Umbridge said smugly. "Today, you'll be working in pairs. Chosen by me, so you can let go of Mr Weasley, Ms. Granger."

Hermione went very red faced and released her grasp on Ron's arm. They exchanged an uncomfortable look and then turned their attention back to Professor Umbridge who had started giving the pairings.

Hermione was with Millicent Bulstrode. Ron was with Seamus Finnigan, which both seemed quite happy about. Harry was hoping to be put with Dean or Neville, at least these didn't hate him.

"Potter! You'll be with Malfoy."

_What? _Harry thought. _Is she joking?_

The look on Malfoy's face told Harry that Malfoy wasn't to happy with this either. In fact, he looked like he was dreading it. This was unusual as Malfoy normally took every chance he could get to give Harry grief about one thing or another. As Malfoy seemed stuck to the spot, Harry thought he should just get on with it and walked over to him. He was still intrigued about the other night, after all.

There wasn't a word said between the two boys for twenty minutes. Harry had been thinking of ways to talk to Malfoy about the other night, while still holding the hatred they had for each other. Malfoy was just doing his best to ignore the situation.

"You stared at me the other night. Why?" He finally said, trying to sound as sly as possible.

"Don't flatter yourself, Potter. I was observing the fine art of the portrait behind you. Us purebloods appreciate the finer things in life you see. But I suppose with your best friends being a mudblood and a Weasley, you wouldn't know," Malfoy sneered.

Harry leaned over Malfoy to get an ink bottle that was by Malfoy's left elbow. There faces came extremely close and Harry could feel Malfoy's breath falter. There eyes met. Harry finally realised what it was about Malfoy that kept catching his eye. His eyes were beautiful. Sharp, piercing and silver. It felt like they stayed like that for an eternity, but in reality there gaze was only held for a few seconds. Suddenly, Malfoy pushed Harry away and stood up. Harry noticed how sweaty Malfoy's palms were.

"Potter tried to kiss me, _queer!" _Malfoy said hysterically, face the colour of Ron's hair. And with that he stormed out of the room and slammed the door. All eyes were on Harry. The sea of expressions was a lot to take in. Disgust, shock, confusion, anger, some even looked proud.

"What? Why would I want to kiss Malfoy? If anything, he's sorry I didn't. I was getting the ink," he said, holding up the ink bottle as if this was enough proof.

Umbridge suddenly piped up. "Potter! Harassment in _my_ classroom. I've never heard of such travesties. A months detention!"

Harry opened his mouth to argue but Hermione shot him a look rather like what you'd get from your Dad if you were just about to tell your Mum what he had bought her for Christmas. And she was right. If he argued, he'd only make it worse. He would have to find another way to make everyone believe he wasn't a gay sexual predator. Not that the Slytherins would ever take his side.

All through lunch in the Great Hall, he had constant grief from the Slytherin's.

"Gay Boy!" "Puff!" "Faggot!" "Backs against the wall, lads."

Ron turned around and took out his wand.

"RON! That's not going to help. Put it away," she turned to Harry. "Harry... What made him say it?"

"I was leaning over him to get the ink and that meant our faces came a little closer than normal. Besides, it's Malfoy. When did he ever need an excuse to make me look bad?"

That moment was still on his mind. This time he knew Malfoy had felt something. He could sense it. _That's why he left so quickly. He couldn't let it happen again. Then it would be obvious, _Harry thought.


	4. Empty Corridors

**Chapter 4 – Empty Corridors**

Over the next few weeks, Malfoy did his best to stay away from Harry. This was expected. Harry knew that Malfoy couldn't afford to have anyone think he liked a _boy_. If Lucius Malfoy, Draco's father, found out, there is no telling what would happen to him. Harry even overheard Professor Snape telling Umbridge not to pair them up again, obviously word had got round.

After much thought about what was best and what would be easiest, Harry tried to forget everything that he thought was happening with Malfoy. He decided even if there was something there, neither would ever act on it for fear of being judged. Harry was "The Boy Who Lived" and Draco was a Malfoy. As much as Harry hated the title, it was all he had. He doubted he would have anything without his terrible past. It made him who he was.

That morning, Harry had Quidditch practice. As he ripped himself from the cosiness of his slumber, he noticed it was raining. A grin broke his early morning squint. Harry loved rain. He admired the way it could start and stop whenever it liked. There were so many moments he wished he could stop and keep forever.

He pulled on his Quidditch robes, grabbed his broom and made his way through the castle. As he was walking through one of the many corridors, he noticed a platinum blonde boy walking ahead that he recognised immediately as Draco Malfoy. He quickened his step, hoping to catch up with him before he turned off. He didn't think why, he just knew he wanted to speak to him.

"Oi, Malfoy!" Harry called.

Malfoy stopped and turned to face Harry. As soon as he noticed who it was, he spun on the heel of his foot and carried on walking, faster than before.

"No, wait," Harry sounded as if he was pleading, which really wasn't the signal he wanted to be giving. When Malfoy turned around again, Harry quickly changed his expression to one of anger, trying to mask his mistake.

"What do you want, Potter? Am I that irresistible you have to follow me through corridors?"

"You might believe that, Malfoy, but I guarantee there's not one person on this earth who thinks the same," Harry lied. "Why would I try and kiss you, Malfoy?"

"I don't know. I can't say I really have a lot of experience in what goes on in a homosexual brain," Draco also lied.

"You know as well as I do that I was nowhere near kissing you!"

"And what if I do? Not going to stop me telling people you did." Malfoy started walking closer to Harry. Harry couldn't decide if he was threatened or slightly aroused.

"No-one believes you anyway. People know me better than that."

Malfoy said nothing, just kept getting closer to Harry.

"What would you have done if I had kissed you?" Harry wondered aloud.

"You would have been in the hospital wing before you could blink..." Draco said, uncertain of his own words.

Before Harry really knew what he was doing, he was leaning forward and he kissed Malfoy. Harry felt like it was just him and Malfoy in the whole world. He forgot he had to be at the Quidditch pitch any minute now. He forgot they were in the middle of Hogwarts and anyone could walk past. He thought about the rain and how, if he could, he would freeze this moment and keep it.

Malfoy pushed Harry off and looked at him with a look of shock on his face. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Well I'm doing well. I'm not in the hospital wing yet." He exaggerated a blink. "Nope, still conscious," Harry said sarcastically.

Draco looked around but there was no-one around and no footsteps could be heard. Malfoy leant forward and returned the favour.

This time it was Harry's turn to look shocked. "I wasn't expecting that."

"You tell anyone and I really will put you in the hospital wing!" Malfoy said with a smirk on his face. He turned around once more and left Harry standing alone in the corridor.

Harry remembered where he should be and briskly walked to the Quidditch pitch. He couldn't really focus at all on Quidditch though, his mind was back in that corridor with Draco.

For the rest of that day, both Harry and Draco were in high spirits.


	5. Heart to Heart

**A/N I realise it has been a while since I have added anything to this story but I've been very busy starting college and then college work etc. Any spare time I've had has been purely for relaxing. Anyway, I thought I had left it long enough and I ought to start writing again. Here goes... hope you like it.**

**Chapter 5: Heart to Heart**

It was like a switch had been flicked between Harry and Draco. They had gone from loathing each other to lusting after each other in the space of a few weeks. How does that happen?

Neither boy had told anyone about this teenage fling yet. Draco didn't think he ever could, he's the most popular boy in Slytherin. He wasn't about to risk that. Harry on the other hand knew he had a couple of people he could turn to. He just didn't know if he could face it yet. He had an irrational fear of being judged by those closest to him.

There were plenty of opportunities in the next few weeks for Harry to say exactly what he was wanting to say to both Ron and Hermione, but just when he plucked up the courage, someone else would get in the way. Dean would challenge Ron to a game of wizards chess or Seamus would ask Hermione would ask for help on his Charms essay.

Finally the right time came. Hermione and Harry had decided to go and study down by the lake. As they were walking towards their usual spot, Harry knew this was as good a time as any.

"Hermione... Ermm... I... I need to talk to you... About something,"

"God, you make it seem like you've done something terrible," she laughed, then stopped. "You haven't, have you?"

Harry cringed. "Some might think so."

As they sat down, Hermione looked at Harry and, hesitantly, asked "Oh, Harry. What is it?"

"Well... erm... You know that I've hated Malfoy since I met him, practically?"

"Oh, I can see where this is going," Hermione said, confidently.

"You can? How did you know?" Harry asked, quite shocked.

"Harry, you and Malfoy have had another petty duel or something, you made it seem like you'd killed someone or something."

"Erm, no. It's not that. Quite the opposite actually. Me and Malfoy... Well, we... We... Ikissedhim." Words had never escaped anyone's mouth quicker.

"Sorry, what? Slow down a bit, Harry"

"Okay... I kissed Draco Malfoy." Harry looked down at the grass, bracing himself for whatever reaction was headed his way.

"What? In Umbridge's lesson? I thought you said you didn't," Hermione sounded confused.

"No, after that. We were on the stairs the other day, and I kissed him."

"Oh..." Hermione didn't quite know what to say. "Why?"

Harry was happy that Hermione hadn't gone crazy, but at the same time he wished she had made a bit more of a fuss. He didn't really know how to explain himself but thought he would give it a try.

"Well... since like, coming back I've kept looking at him and I felt like, I don't know, different. I still hated him, but I sort of didn't. Does that make sense?"

"Not an ounce," Hermione said, sounding even more confused.

"Right, well... If I felt like this about a girl, I'd probably take them to Hogsmeade or something. You know? Get to know them."

"You want to take Malfoy to Hogsmeade?"

"Hermione, I thought you were the clever one!" Harry was getting frustrated with himself. Why couldn't he explain it?

"Well, I'm sorry Harry, but you're not giving me much to work with here." Now she sounded annoyed. She opened her book and started reading.

"I don't think you have quite grasped the gravity of the situation. I kissed Draco Malfoy. MALFOY. I want to be with him every minute of the day. I want to sit with him and stare into his beautiful eyes. Listen to him tell me that he loves me. I want everyone to accept us as a couple and ignore the fact that it's Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. I want him. Just him." Harry wasn't even talking to Hermione anymore. Well, he was. But not really. What he was saying now was aimed at no-one in particular. He was just saying it.

"I completely 'grasped the gravity of the situation', Harry. I just wasn't sure you had. If you really want that, you need to be sure he does too before you get hurt. This isn't just anyone. It's Draco Malfoy, as you've already pointed out. He's never been the most trustworthy. Talk to him, tell him what you've told me. It's not going to be easy, these things never are. But what's meant to be, will be. I'm always here if you need to talk. About this or anything."

Harry took a moment to think. He couldn't say any of that to Malfoy. Not yet, anyway. It was just a kiss. Even so, Harry knew he wanted so much more. He did want everything he had said. He wanted a life with Draco. As much as it pained him, he had to remember that Draco was a Slytherin. It's so wrong and yet it feels so right. He only had hope left. Hope that Malfoy was having this very same conversation with his closest friend. Hope all these things were going through Malfoy's head. Hope that the feeling was mutual. Hope that love would prevail over anything else.


End file.
